Yes, I really am… and I’ll be back soon with some news – we’ve been busy moving house and I’ve started a new job among other things.

love to you Mamas xxx

 

maryHeart

Sometimes we Mamas lose the plot.  Lets have a show of hands of who doesn’t.  Well, this Mama is certainly no Angel and I have been known to get my Witch on from time to time.   In the interests of authenticity I’d like to share with you that lately I haven’t been living my own advice, not walking my own talk.   Lately I’ve been engaging in power struggles with the father of my children over my need for freedom and autonomy (as both a parent and as a human being)  vs the needs of my children (i.e.  material  and emotional).  Basically I’ve been arguing, unprofitably, with reality.    Tired of doing the job of two people (both Mama and Papa) and angry that I don’t seem to have enough support in either role, I got to the point where I was ready to hand over my children for him to raise.

I can look to the cosmos for an explanation (or blame, if I really insist) with the current aspect Mars (God of War) to Saturn (God of Limits).  I could rave on about how the astrology of the moment is making me, and everyone else, act a certain way – but in truth there is no ‘out there’.  Everything any one ever experiences is experienced internally.  It’s all in our minds.

That doesn’t mean that nothing is real.  It’s all real alright but our experience  is unique to each of us  just as we relate to our world according to our perception of it.   Nothing is the way it is, its the way we are.   So my latest experience of the world, and way of relating to it, is about powerlessness and my anger around it – and from wanting to just give up.    These feelings, this War, these Limits, have been in me for some time but I’ve learned to trick myself out of letting things bother me.

A wise Mama said to me, in the middle of my crisis, that I need to connect with my heart instead of trying to think with it.  So what does that mean?

Its normal for us to try not to feel what we’re feeling as Mamas because its ‘inappropriate’ or ’scary for the children’ or because Significant Others will relate to us in ways we may not appreciate.  Far better to put aside what we feel in order to be present for ‘more immediate’ concerns such as the needs of the family.  What we find, though, is that the feelings we have not felt or processed will eventually find their way out of the depths we have assigned them to.  They show up in our ailments, our blurts, in plate smashing tantrums (yes, I did break a few over the weekend) and as Carl Jung would say, as Fate.

I’ve always placed a great deal of faith in Soul – in psyche – as  self-healing and self-organising.   It doesn’t serve us at all to believe that there is any part of our self that is anything but benevolent and perfect (if only ‘in its own way’).  If we have it, we need it.   Even the oddest tendencies , severest dis-ease, or worst parts of ourselves have a place in the greater scheme of things.   Relying on symptoms to guide us to the center of ourselves is one way of navigating that greater scheme, the other is to make peace with our thoughts and emotions as and when they arise.

Recognising the sensations in our bodies as we feel our emotions  – this is the key.  This is connecting with our hearts.

And it’s what I’ve been missing.  Paying attention to how my body is reacting with emotion and thought is the part I’ve  overlooked while I’ve been busy trying to nut things out in my head and analysing what is going on in my body  – looking for what my soul has to say – without actually feeling it.

Journalling the thoughts that are looping around in our heads causing us anxiety, then reading them through with awareness of how our bodies move and feel is an enlightening exercise – an exercise which, with daily practice and further work, can not only heal us but can help us to keep our balance and well being.

My wise friend is right, I need to do this – and I need to really walk my talk.  So at this juncture I’m listening to my whole self and taking some rest time so I can meet the Fate that is hammering at my door with the strength I need.  I’ll let you know how I go.

later Mamas xx

Raphael's Mother and Child
Raphael’s Mother and Child

Time is just whizzing by while I’ve been busy on other writing projects, study, and caring for five children (two of whom have been sick this past few days).

Someone I know who’s just had a baby sent me a message this week – “I can’t believe you’ve done this five times!  Its so much harder than I thought.”  Which reminded me of the days of having my first baby and how daunting it all was . I gave this person some advice, but now I wish I hadn’t.  Why?  Because  even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t go back and give myself advice.  I’ve learned all I know by doing what I needed to do in order to feel good about being a Mama; to keep my children safe, well and free to express themselves; and to run my household as best as possible.

I’m now questioning the validity (and ethics) of writing advice for Mamas at all, and yet I really enjoy it.   Perhaps its a matter of reframing what I do here – rather than giving advice, I’m relating a recipe for a happier experience of Mamahood.

So, in honour of those of you who’ve just had your first baby, here is the spell for the week:

  • Take VERY good care of yourself – make it part of your daily routine to include as many self-nurturing activities, treats, pamperings and health-enhancing practices as you can.   I can’t say this enough – a happy and fulfilled Mama is the best Mama for your child.  If you’re a Mama with no Papa in sight, you have double the reasons to rely on your inner resources and that means generating genuine affection for yourself through self-care.
  • That advice midwives always give – ’sleep when baby sleeps’ – Mamas this is SUCH gold.   Some of my favourite times as a Mama have been blissfully curled up, baby in her basket beside me,  for daytime nap.  Somehow the washing always got done, the house didn’t fall down from not being cleaned, and we managed not to starve.
  • Exercise every day.   Pay extra attention to the areas affected most by the birth (you know what I’m talking about).  Take up Pilate’s and strengthen your core – do it and commit to keeping these muscles strong for life.  You’ll thank me when you can gracefully glide past the incontinence products thirty years from now,with your back straight and your belly tucked in.
  • Put baby in the pram and walk it off – and I’m not just talking about body weight – walk off the weight of the world – get outside and breathe.   Babies love the rhythm of being walked and the experts say ’sleep begets sleep’ – you’ll find your little one more settled, so everyone wins.
  • Try to minimise coffee and tea consumption, ditto alcohol.   Not only do these pass through breast milk to the baby (if breast feeding is your choice), but they don’t give you ‘more energy’ as we tend to think they do.   Instead, drink water or herbal tea.   Likewise, eat the best food you can afford and leave sugary treats for special occasions as much as you can (I know this can be hard – I’ve a friend who has her husband lock her chocolate stash in his safe!)
  • Get out of the house and spend time around other people, with or without baby (and I mean people with or without babies too).
  • Trust yourself to do this the way only you can, and never be afraid to ask for help or advice.

Congratulations new Mamas xx

little red, twenty minutes old

little red, twenty minutes old

We’re within hours of a total solar eclipse so if today has been intense, weird, dramatic or strange in any way, its probably safe to say the energetic pull of the moon and the sun’s meeting has set the scene.

I love eclipses.   We’ve come a long way from the days of dire superstitious warnings around eclipses – ‘the fall of the king’ and the like.   The sky is not as mysterious as it once was and we’re free to examine the metaphor without fear or notions of  Fate.

It seems appropriate, given that the sun and moon will meet with the nodes in the last degree of the constellation Cancer, the sign with rulership over motherhood matters, to mention that I once gave birth during a lunar eclipse.

My middle child was born in the home of a midwife and good friend (in her bathtub to be exact) because I was determined not to go to hospital (where sick people go), and we were a family in transition between one city and the next.   It was a magical night in my friend’s home by the sea;  inside red candles reflected off the bathwater and my huge belly, and outside a gaggle kids ran around under a big fat red moon – I didn’t so much labour as laugh my child into the world and so she emerged with a blissful smile on her sweet face.

She’s just had her ninth birthday a few days ago and I’m reminded that the eclipses are tied up with cycles – a ’small’ cycle of 18 or so years, the time it takes for the lunar nodes to travel one full revolution on the plane of the eliptic around Earth, and a greater cycle – more of a spiral really – which occurs over hundreds of years, in which eclipse patterns come into existence and eventually pass away.   So there is something about this particular eclipse which relates to the those in the year 2000 as well as to the its series (Saros 136) which began in 1360, then next installment of which is not until 2027.

Rudolf Steiner writes about the year a child turns nine as ‘the Rubicon year’ and the beginning of ‘feeling one’s thoughts’, crucial to the development of the psyche and a time to be handled delicately.   Some call this the ‘nine year crossing’.  I call it ‘no such thing as a coincidence’.    My little lunar kid has reached the midpoint of  a cycle within a spiral within an ever evolving cosmos and I’m left wondering what the next nine years will bring.

Today is a great day to contemplate whatever crossing you are taking in your life now ~ to ponder the metaphor of  the eclipse and to journal your findings.   Its also a good time for letting go of an old way of being or doing, and making resolutions for a fresh new start.  Light a candle, celebrate the perfection of the Universe, and give thanks for the wonders that Life offers in every moment.

Blessings, Mamas xx

A busy few weeks have kept me from my computer, although inspiration continues to flow (if only in conceptual form at present).  I hope you don’t feel too neglected, Mamas!

Its school holidays here now, so the plan is to carry on blogging after the kids resume classes next week, in time for the new moon and Solar Eclipse.

Meanwhile, have fun xx

early edition tarot trump - The Magician

early edition tarot trump - The Magician

The Sun has moved on to Cancer now but the Moon is still in Gemini until she meets the Sun tomorrow opposite Pluto – the planet of destruction and regeneration – a perfect time to discuss the power of our words.

As Mamas we all realise that what’s said to children sticks. Personally, I’ve experienced some long-forgotten relative telling me, at age three, that at night the wolves come out to eat little girls’ ears – and for years I couldn’t sleep without a blanket covering my head, even in summer.   If there ever was an ear-eating wolf it was that man who spoke those words.

My father once told me that a large red mark on his back was ‘a war wound’ and that my grandfather had lost his four severed fingers ’shaving’ so that I grew up thinking my nerdy, bespectacled Dad had been a soldier and that my Poppa was idiotically clumsy.   The moment it dawned upon me that these things weren’t true (not to mention being completely implausible) didn’t come until I was an adult and almost a parent myself – and in that moment my ideas about a whole lot of things crumbled.

Oh yes, words can be permanent in the mind of a child.  Little ears can be punished and little minds convinced that the obvious is untrue and the ridiculous is real.

We Mamas,  on the other hand, have an ongoing challenge to be heard (especially when it comes to mundane and repetitive matters such as picking up socks and brushing teeth).     It may sometimes feel a bit like the same day being lived over and over.    We may be so darn bored or frustrated by certain routines that we’re tempted to shake it up occasionally – in not so constructive ways.  We threaten, we cajole, we ‘encourage’ and we Lay Down the Law.   Then we go through it all again next time.

After a year of, lets say,  mediating between siblings fighting over the front seat of the car, or a month of morning squabbles about bathroom rights, or certain people’s (not mentioning any names kid!) ongoing tendency toward just sitting down doing nothing (yes, right when the whole household has to be somewhere on time) we begin to suspect that the right words need to be found or we should just shut up about it.

Then there’s the issue of unconscious self-talk.  We all know how that goes – we’ve heard it from the mouths of our friends and neighbours.   That baby-boomer aunt who for years complains that everything ‘gives her the shits’ and then later mysteriously finds herself battling bowel cancer (but not healing it); the lonely forty-something divorcee who cannot stop himself from bellyaching about his ex-wife’s drinking problems (while swilling chardonnay) and terrible parenting (while his son listens, heartbroken, from the other room) and alienates everyone he knows.   There’s the friend who tells you constantly ‘one day I’ll get there’ and struggles on and on, never quite ‘making it’.   And there’s always the poor woman who is heard daily saying ‘we don’t have enough money for that’ and ‘we can’t afford it’ and well, stays the poor woman you know who goes without.

Without putting too much of a fine point on it, we need to practice listening to ourselves and paying attention to our words. Our words are more important than we were raised to believe, and children are not the only ones influenced by ill-thought talk (or well-thought talk!).  We all are.  In every area of our lives there are ’speakings about’ and ’speakings around’ – in other words we speak our selves into being.  More than that, our words create our experiences – they attract to us more of what we speak of.

So if we repeatedly say ‘Kid, pick up your socks!’ (or shout it, as the case may sometimes be) then what we’ll find is that we’ll keep on having to say it, we’ll keep on seeing that socks need to be picked up.  The day we stop noticing the socks, and start noticing that the kid is busy eating his Wheaties (which we want, right?) or tying his little brother’s shoe laces (even better!) is the day we break the pattern.  Socks will still need to be picked up, of course, but it won’t be such a big deal.  Maybe we’ll pick ‘em up and smile that our kid was so busy doing his adorable kid thing that he forgot about the socks, and so did we.

The same goes for the Self-talk (and I’m not talking about other people’s self-talk – I’m talking about yours).  Are you listening to yourself?  Do you really hear what you’re saying??  Do you ever catch yourself saying something which you know isn’t positive, isn’t good for you to say or for others’ to hear?  What are your words affirming in your life?  Now is a good time to do an audit, and perhaps uncover something important about where you’re life is heading – and discover how you can creatively improve things.

So, here’s the gist of minding your words -

  • resolve to pay attention to your speech for 24 hours – you’re looking for repetition, ‘catch phrases’, ‘cliches’ you use often, ‘puns’ and parts of language you find funny or disturbing.
  • list all of the words, phrases, and regular points of conflict (eg the socks)  you observe without judging yourself (this isn’t about feeling bad remember!)
  • work with this list in your journalling – ask yourself about your words
  • look up the etymology of commonly used words in your lexicon – the origins of language are very telling
  • practice the affirmation “my word is my wand, I wield it to create_______, under Grace and in perfect ways” (insert your goals, ideals and wishes)
  • practice speaking the word for what you would like to see in your life.  Want more abundance – speak it.  “I’d LOVE more good stuff in my life”, “I always have everything I need” (these two have very little unconscious resistance attached to them – try them and see how true they feel).
  • Make a conscious effort to say little or nothing for part of your day – knowing when to be silent and when to speak is a required for Mama Magic.
  • Consider your words with care – love your words.

Abracadabra Mamas xx

pilgercl

alchemical emblem, origins unresolved

The moon is balsamic (dark)  right now, although in a favourite part of the sky – Taurus – where she is said to be ‘exalted’ – strong.  We’re also preparing for the Solstice – the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere and the shortest day in the South.  So the Moon is winding up her cycle while the Sun  reaches a turning point in his annual journey.  Our days may be flavoured by this  seemingly dissonant mix of lunar and solar energies depending on where we are on the globe – it seems a perfect fit here in South Australia in the middle of winter, but I imagine it may be different  if you’re somewhere warm and bright.   Still, wherever we find ourselves on and around June 21 we’re promised some beautiful skies at night – including a visible conjunction of Mars and Venus in the wee hours before sunrise –   further confirmation that the Solstice festival this year involves an alchemical melding of masculine and feminine energies -  redressing the balance somewhat.  I feel this is particularly potent for Mamas as we are more powerfully called upon to be embodied as women and are also striving toward a stronger presence in this ‘man’s world’.

At my middle childrens’ school we’re preparing for the Winter Festival.  A Saturnine event (that is relating to the archetype  Saturn – of time, limits, necessity, death and karma), we’re expected to arrive with somber reverence, to share a cup of soup in quiet gratitude and to participate in lighting lanterns and ‘Walking the Spiral’ while the children sing about the season.   Its not so much a Festival (its not the least festive!) as a ritual to honour the earth spirits and the cycles of nature and life and the need to turn to our inner resources, rather than to celebrate the outward abundance we experience at other times of year.

After the Solstice – which literally  means the sun  stands still – we’ll experience the gradual shift to longer or shorter days respectively until the next turn of the wheel on December 21.

So its a good time, whether or not you are celebrating as part of a community, and wherever you are on Earth, to pause – to stand still – from day to day activity and reflect upon the meaning of the Solstice.   Is it a time to shine more brightly – to allow more of your spirit to flow outward?  Are you developing roots and generating unseen energies within yourself right now?  Or are you simply dormant, anticipating the arrival of a new season?  Do you see how your life  and your life forces are reflected in the metaphors of nature and the cycles of growth, change, death and renewal?    Can you see that your body and the Earth are connected – that your body is the Earth – that you are metaphorically the whole cosmos?

Journalling for the next couple of days could answer some of these questions – and from your answers a formula for a ritual to honour your personal Solstice may flow.   This could be as simple as a prayer spoken out loud at the beginning or and end of the Longest Day, or as complex as preparing a special meal, adorning yourself and your home, dancing (a wonderful Midsummer activity) to meaningful music and involving with your loved ones.   You may choose to enact your Solstice alone in response to a need to strengthen your internal processes, or you may feel the pull toward creating an event with your children (there are some beautiful Earth Spirit stories that little ones adore).

Whatever you decide to do, please do something this solstice – here are some other pointers to get you in the mood:

  • take a walk in nature and observe the signs of the season – sketch, take photographs or just enjoy listening and looking.
  • meditate on the body – observe the inner energy field and rhythm of your body and bless every part.  Notice, especially, where your physical body reflects the cycles of nature (e.g. is your skin dry in wintertime, do you feel heavier or lighter as time passes?  ) – bless these signs too!
  • visit an observatory and/or learn more about the cycles of our solar system – view the planets through a high-tech telescope for an entirely different perspective – take the children.
  • Read Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ or rent the movie
  • play music which reflects the mood of your day;  notice how your body’s rhythms are effected or in harmony.
  • light candles and place items from nature on your altar – reflect upon these at intervals.

Blessed be, Mamas xx

signac-women-at-the-well-01
Women at the Well, Opus 238, Paul Signac, 1892.

I’ve been pretty distracted lately – that is my way of saying I haven’t had any inspiration for writing anything here.  It happens sometimes when there’s been a disruption to my equalibrium or one of life’s inevitable challenges.

I’ve started something new;  I’ve begun training in the field of transpersonal counselling (therapy) – the path of Psyche or soul rather than the way of science and medicine.   This is something that I’ve wanted to get formal qualifications in for a long time – having spent the past five years reading every book on archetype, alchemy and Soul that I could get my greedy hands on.  I hope I’ll be able to pass on a lot of what I’m learning to you, dear Mamas.

Meanwhile, I’m in the process of filling the well here – of recharging my creative batteries, so to speak.   In doing so, I’m going to ask for your help.  I’d like to know what you would like to read about – what are the challenges you face, what are the things that make you feel good – what are your stories?

Let’s share – write to me Mamas xx

Pelican_White_a

The Alchemical Pelican - the mother who pierces her own breast to feed her young

I’ve just finished reading an article by Ayalet Waldman, Mama of four and author of Bad Mother, A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace. As a former defence attorney Ms Waldman presents a convincing argument that motherhood is fraught with resentment stemming from those good old days of feminism that taught us that ‘we can have it all’.  Our own mother’s generation ‘raised our consciousness’ but didn’t tell us how we could combine the often opposing reality of  how things are for women in the workplace with our biological impulses (picture me, please, rolling my eyes and smiling).

Ladies, not only have we discovered we can’t have it all,  apparently (allegedly) if we have one thing we  sulk  about not having the other.   And when we’re not  channeling all our resentment into obsessively raising the perfect child or falling asleep pushing our kid on the swings, we’re lowering the glass ceiling on  each other’s heads.  It would also appear there are only two types of women with children -  Good Mothers and Bad Mothers – and that we are all either striving to be the Good ilk or suffering terrible guilt about not cutting it.

Well, alright – I get it.  I congratulate our esteemed Council for the Defence for putting it out there into the public sphere that there are a few issues we need to address.   And I’d like to, er, cross examine the witnesses (yes it’s a good thing I never had any aspirations toward a career in the legal field isn’t it?!) before the jury reaches a verdict.

First up Mamas, I’d like a show of hands of who here entered into Mamahood by force?  Anyone here not choose to have the children you’ve got?  Are you sure about that??  Anyone want to tell me now that you didn’t choose the life you’ve got?  I thought so.   Maybe it still happens in some places in the world, but if you’re reading this then the chances are you’re  a privileged  woman who know’s she has choices. There are no victims here.  We have power, even if we don’t recognise it.  We aren’t bound by conventions or laws (about motherhood!) in any real sense – although we are often bound by our own ideas of what we’re supposed to be doing, and how (and therein lies the rub).

Oh yes, we may have fallen for the romantic story about how automatically blissful it was going to be when we  popped our belly buttons, but come on now – none of us lived our lives in a bubble before getting up the duff, right?  Or did we?  We did have a story, we made our choices based on it.  We knew  about sacrifice and motherhood (how could we not, even those of us who were never little girls gazing up at the weeping Madonna every Sunday)  we gave up what we wanted to give up, and we still choose, day after day, how we live our lives and what we believe in.  No ideology or biological urge can have power over us unless we agree to it.  So our complaint, if we have one, is not with motherhood, or with our children, or with how society treats us – its with our own beliefs about how things are ’supposed to be’ if and when those beliefs conflict with how things really are.

That is not to say that there isn’t a whole lot of adjusting to do in becoming a  Mama – quite so.   Life changes, our bodies change, our ideas about ourselves change and our needs and our families needs bring new challenges.  We grow and our children grow and life makes room for all of it.

Not all of us feel we have traded down from silk and pinstripes to serviceable cotton and jeans either.  Many Mama’s continue to find a comfortable work-life balance and, yes, have ‘it all’.  Just as many Mamas regard their decision to dedicate a large share of their time to caring for children as a career move in itself – particularly those like Ms Waldman and myself who have large families.  We each have our own way of seeing and experiencing life, the ability to use discernment and the capacity for mindfulness.   More of us can find contentment and joy in motherhood if we  work at it like we’d work at any other job.   I’ll keep hammering on about this – we are not just seeds blowing in the winds of fate, nor are we trees that cannot get up and move.

I’ve written about loving motherhood more – and being a happy, fulfilled women and mothers – as well as how to come to terms with those moments we fall into ‘bad’ behaviour in the course of caring for children.  What appears to be the question of today is ‘what role?’ or perhaps ‘what story is being played out here -  ?’ when we fall into discontent or blame or find ourselves having to defend our choices to others.   I feel strongly that part of stepping outside of this Good Mother/Bad Mother paradigm (or any paradigm that runs contra to our most authentic desires) involves self-examination with the focus on the ideas  and conceptual structures we hold onto – most often unconsciously – that determine which part we’re playing in the world.

Mama-work is creative work.  As such it’s important to protect its sanctity like a piece of art – a work in progress.  We must also develop a thick enough skin to let others’ judgements of our work fall away of their own weight.   We need not categorise ourselves or live our lives in relation to societal concepts such as ‘patriarchy’ or ‘capitalism’.   The more of our own ground we can hold – the more value we ourselves place on our daily experiences as Mamas – and the more we recognise our creative power, the more personal contentment and joy we’ll allow in.

See things your own way Mamas!  xx

the various alchemical vessels

Chemical utensils from Andreas Libavius, Alchymia..., 1606.

It may feel a little like things are going backwards right now, the current cosmic climate being what it is.  Without delving too deeply into Astrology (for some fun astrology & advice visit Mystic Medusa) I have to mention that the planet Mercury, Trickster of the skies, is Retrograde – that is,  its motion is slow so that it appears to be moving backwards as the rest of the Heavens continue to move forward.   As the ‘ruling’ planet of the mind, communication and short distance travel, Mercury Retrograde is often said to be responsible for glitches, hitches and miscommunications.  Expect to be surprised – if you find yourself dealing with these try to look upon them as opportunities – Mercury is always one to open up possibilities .    While its best not to buy into Mercury Retro tales of disaster and mayhem there’s a school of thought inclined to treat this as a time to go slower, to take more time to think things through (especially contracts and commitments)  and perhaps go with what is familiar rather than trying to break new ground.    It hardly ever happens that way although taking extra caution when driving and being extra careful with what we say are always wise ideas.

So in other cosmic news, while the Moon is waning in the constellation Capricorn, its ruling planet, Saturn is all set to end its retrograde phase and begin its forward motion again – meaning that a lot of what Saturn represents in our lives will now gain more impetus.   Good ways of working with this energy are -

  • putting new structures in place, new daily routines and practices that serve to enrich our lives
  • eliminating negative habits and self-limiting beliefs
  • setting limits and strengthening boundaries that DO serve us
  • accepting responsibilities, making peace with them

Now it all may seem rather dull, and, well, I concede this is the part of Mama Magic that is the heaviest and hardest but its worth it -  what I prescribe is this:

  • take time out for observation of your immediate environment – your home, your garden, your neighbourhood, your places and spaces as well as what’s happening with Nature (the weather, the seasons etc) and the ‘others’ that are part of your everyday lives.   Keeping a journal is crucial.  Write lists like  ‘things that give me pleasure’ and ‘what made me smile today’.   Carry your journal and pen with you.  Write for twenty minutes (minimum) a day.   Be protective and selfish about time to write and observe and process.
  • observe our Cosmos – where is the moon?  What aspects are the planets making?  Keep notes of how the cycles of the moon and the planets affect you, your bodily cycles and sleep patterns, and the same for your children.
  • observe the connections between ourselves and our micro and macro environments.  How is synchronicity at play in your life?  Are you noticing any patterns?
  • observe your inner world.  Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and how they are creating your outer life for you.
  • create rituals that are meaningful for yourself as a woman.  Create an altar.  It doesn’t have to be an obvious one but you do need to have space within which to place objects of importance.  I use the window sill above my kitchen sink – because its well out of the way of the children (especially the baby) and  fireproof – I light candles, incense and burn essential oils there -  and it means I give it my attention often!
  • eliminate negative influences. Detox your life.  Turn off the television.  Boycott the News!  What we focus on grows – ask yourself if you really want to spend any part of your day focused on anything that brings you down.   Commercial, mainstream news and current affairs are just downright bad for your soul, and we need to protect our children from them.
  • Grow your awareness of those times you are ‘there because you should be’ and not because you want to be.   Likewise those  habits we hang on to long after they serve us.  Spend less time doing things you don’t enjoy, and with people you don’t enjoy. Phase them out, lovingly.   Gossip over coffee may be a regular part of life, but is it good for you?  Do you feel authentic taking part in your own life?  Answer these questions in your journal.
  • Exercise – a fit and healthy Mama is better equipped to enjoy life – and those endorphins are not the only benefit.   Take every opportunity to be active, especially with the children.   I take a regular morning walk with the baby in the stroller, and a regular afternoon bike ride with the baby in the bike seat and the older children riding their own bikes.   Pilate’s and weights make their way into my day too, -at my desk or on the floor in front of a favourite movie etc.
  • Strengthen your resolve about health and nutrition – set limits to how much toxicity is allowed into those cupboards and refrigerators.   If your food barely resembles anything from nature, chances are neither will you pretty soon.   My only rule of thumb when it comes to grocery shopping – it must be as unprocessed as possible, or its not going into any body in my family.   Our bodies are worth the best we can give them – so break out of sugary-fatty-salty-processed convenience food addiction/allergy cycle and eat like you’re alive!
  • Make it absolutely essential to your daily existence to care for yourself as though you are the most precious thing in the world – because you are.

Practice makes perfect Mamas xx